Here are short toasts for friendship, marriage, drinking (of course), but tobacco pipes and a cigar? Yep. Maybe some of these toasters rehearsed with live booze before they created their, umm, light-hearted offerings.
Note: this is one of two books of the same title.

Selections from:
Happy Days: A Book of Toasts
compiled by George N. Madison



YOUR HEALTH!

While there’s life on the lip, while
There’s warmth in the wine,
One deep health I’ll pledge, and that
Health shall be thine

Meredith

COMPENSATION

This world that we’re a-livin’ in
Is mighty hard to beat;
You get a thorn with ev’ry rose,
But ain’t the roses sweet!

Frank L. Stanton

ONCE MORE

Then once again, before we part,
My empty glass shall ring;
And he that has the warmest heart
Shall loudest laugh and sing.

Holmes

PROGRESS

One little step won’t take us very far---
So let us keep on walking:
One little word doesn’t mean very much---
So let us keep on talking:
One little thought won’t make a book---
So let us keep on thinking:
One little drink won’t do us any harm---
So let us keep on drinking!

TO ALL OF US

Here’s a toast to all of us---
The large ones and the small of us---
The short ones and the tall of us---
And when Time gets the call of us,
Let’s hope he’ll make one haul of us.

George Norman

TO THE GIRLS

Here’s to the girl with
Eyes of blue,
Whose heart is kind and
Love is true.

Here’s to the girl with
Eyes of brown,
Whose spirit proud you
Cannot down.

Here’s to the girl with
Eyes of gray,
Whose sunny smile drives
Care away.

Whate’er the hue of their
Eyes may be,
I’ll drink to the girls
This toast with thee!

TO THE LAST AND BEST

Here’s to the lasses we’ve loved, my lad,
Here’s to the lips we’ve pressed;
For of kisses and lasses,
Like liquor in glasses,
The last is always the best.

A DOUBLE TOAST

Here’s to the ships of our navy,
Here’s to the ladies of our land,
May the former be well rigged,
And the latter be well manned.

TO MY BEST FRIEND

Here’s to the one who never fails
To help you when in need,
The one who gives you all he has
Nor shows the slightest greed,
The one who knows your virtues best
Nor seeks your faults to view,
Who really thinks that you’re all right.
Who is the man? He’s YOU!

John U. Higinbotham

TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM

Here’s to the health of the happy pair,
May good luck meet them everywhere,
And may each day of wedded bliss
Be always just as sweet as this!

TO ONLY ONE

I drink to one, and only one,---
And may that one be he
Who loves but one, and only one,---
And may that one be me!

TO THOSE WHO LOVE US

Here’s to those who love us,
And here’s to those who don’t,
A smile for those who are willing to,
And a tear for those who won’t.

AN EXCUSE FOR WINE

God made man frail as a bubble;
God made Love, Love made Trouble.
God made the Vine; was it a sin
That Man made Wine to drown Trouble in?

TO FLEETING LOVE

We’ll drink to-night with hearts as light,
To loves as gay and fleeting
As bubbles that swim on the beaker’s brim,
And break on the lips while meeting.

Hoffman

TO DINING

We may live without poetry, music and art,
We may live without conscience and live without heart,
We may live without friends; we may live without books;
But civilized man cannot live without cooks.

We may live without books---what is knowledge but grieving.
We may live without hope---what is hope but deceiving.
We may live without love---what is passion but pining;
But where is the man who can live without dining?

Meredith

MY PIPE

Old pal, the times when I’ve been blue
Was just the times I found you true;
But the company you gave me then
Wasn’t worth half as much as when
You said, “Taint nuffin’---
Keep on puffin’!”

J.C. Flanders

TO US BOTH

Here’s a toast to you,
And a toast to me,
And a toast to us both together;
And whatever we do,
And wherever we be,
May we always be birds of a feather.

GOOD LUCK TO YOU

Here’s wishing you luck,
And here’s wishing you health.
Here’s wishing your cares may be few.
Here’s wishing you pluck,
And the winning of wealth.
Here’s---well, here’s looking at you.

G.N.M.

TO BACHELOR JOYS

A pipe, a book, a fire, a friend,
A stein that’s always full;
Here’s to the joys of a bachelor’s life,
A life that is never dull.

TO THE BLUE RIBBON LASSIE

Here’s to the lassie who takes her champagne
And drinks it along with the best of us;
And here’s to the one who won’t touch it at all,
And leaves that much more for the rest of us.

G.N.M.

DRINK TO-DAY

Drink to-day and drown all sorrow;
You shall, perhaps, not drink to-morrow;
Best while you have it, use your breath,
There is no drinking after death.

Beaumont and Fletcher

MY GOLD

Some take their gold in minted mold,
And some in harps hereafter;
But give me mine in tresses fine,
And keep the change---in laughter.

Oliver Herford

TO WOMEN

Here’s to God’s first thought, Man!
Here’s to God’s second thought, Woman!
Second thoughts are always best,
So here’s to Woman!

TO THE GROOM-TO-BE

Here’s to our friend who is soon to be wed.
May the double-hitch turn out no botch,
And always the picture he hides in his heart,
Be the same he has stuck in his watch.

TO THE ABSENT

Here’s to the friends we love so well,
To those so far away!
If a drink of cheer would bring them here,
We would drink the livelong day.

GOOD FELLOWS

A glass is good, and a lass is good,
And a pipe to smoke in cold weather;
The world is good and the people are good,
And we’re all good fellows together.

O’Keefe

TO MISCHIEF

Here’s wishing you joy when you’re merry;
Here’s wishing you hope when you’re sad;
But here’s what counts most---a rollicking toast---
May you never get caught when you’re bad.

TO LOVE

Here’s to the love of the fair and the good,
Here’s to the love of the true.
Here’s to the love that you love, and the love
That you love to thinks loves but you!

TO CHAMPAGNE

Here’s to Champagne, the drink divine,
That makes us forget our troubles;
It’s made of a dollar’s worth of wine,
And three dollars’ worth of bubbles.

THOROUGHBREDS

We come into this world naked and bare,
We go through this world full of sorrow and care;
We go out of this world---we know not where---
But if we’re thoroughbreds here, we’ll be thoroughbreds there.

TO THE BRIDE-TO-BE

Here’s to the bride who is to be;
Happy and smiling and fair.
And here’s to those who would like to be,
And are wondering when, and where.

TO THE GOOD OLD DAYS

Here’s to the good old days,
They were better days I vow;
You could buy a whole hen then
For what an egg costs now.

TO THE CHAPERONE

Here’s to the chaperone;
May she learn from Cupid,
Just enough of blindness
To be sweetly stupid.

WHY I DRINK

If on my theme I rightly think,
There are five reasons why I drink:
Good wine, a friend, because I’m dry,
Or lest I should be by and by,
Or any other reason why.

John Sirmond

TO THE AMERICAN

Here’s to the average American.
He’s handy in a fracas,
He works for a dollar like a horse,
And spends it like a jackass.

TO CONSTANCY

Let’s be gay while we may,
And seize love with laughter;
I’ll be true as long as you,
And not a moment after.

A WORD OF THANKS

When turkey’s on the table laid,
And good things I may scan,
I’m thankful that I wasn’t made
A vegetarian.

Edgar A. Guest

CHAMPAGNE WITH A TWIST

Here’s champagne to our real friends,
And real pain to our sham friends.

TO ALL HERE

Here’s a toast to all who are here,
No matter where you’re from:
May the best day you ever have seen
Be worse than your worst to come.

A GOOD CIGAR

When a blanket wet
Is solidly set
O’er our hopes prematurely grown;
When ambition is tame,
And energy lame,
And the bloom from the fruit is blown;
When to dance and dine
With women and wine,
Past poverty pleasures are---
A man’s not bereft
Of all peace, if there’s left
The joy of a good cigar.

Norris Bull

A CHEERFUL GLASS

A bumper of good liquor
Will end a contest quicker
Than justice, judge or vicar;
So fill a cheerful glass,
And let good humor pass.

Richard Brinsley Sheridan

FILL THE CUP

Then fill the cup, fill high! fill high!
Let joy our goblet crown;
We’ll bung Misfortune’s scowling eye,
And knock Foreboding down.

Lowell

A TOAST

Let wisdom drink to folly,
And gentle youth to age;
Sweet joy to melancholy,
And cowardice to rage.

Let old men drink to childhood,
And sad men to delight;
The cities to the wildwood,
And weariness to might.

Let lovers drink to parting,
Let exiles drink to home;
Let grief, with tears upstarting,
Drink to the joys to come.

Let death clink cups with laughter,
And purple night with day;
Let now drink to hereafter,
And work quaff deep to play.

Let faith drink to deceiving,
And hope to treachery;
Let gladness drink to grieving,
And I my love to thee.

B.H. Carroll, Jr.

THE NATIONAL DRINK

The Frenchman loves his native wine;
The German loves his beer;
The Englishman loves his ‘alf and ‘alf,
Because it brings good cheer.
The Irishman loves his “whisky straight,”
Because it give him dizziness;
The American has no choice at all,
So he drinks the whole blame business.

MY PIPE

When love grows cold, thy fire still warms me;
When friends are fled, thy presence charms me.
If thou art full, though purse be bare,
I smoke, and cast away all care!

A WISH

Here’s turkey when you’re hungry,
Champagne when you are dry,
A pretty girl when you’re lonely,
And heaven when you die!

SO DEMURE

Here’s to the girl, demure and bland,
In entertaining, apt and able:
Whose eyes look down, whene’er her hand
Caresses yours beneath the table.

BEGIN WHERE YOU ARE

If you want to be happy,
Begin where you are;
Don’t wait for some rapture
That’s future and far;
Begin to be joyous,
Begin to be glad,
And soon you’ll forget
That you ever were sad.

AFTERWARDS

Then fill a fair and honest cup, and bear it straight to me;
The goblet hallows all it holds, whate’er the liquid be,
And may the cherubs on its face protect me from the sin
That dooms me to those dreadful words: “My dear, where have you been?”

Holmes

counter easy hit

Return to Humor From Jokes, Toasts and Limericks from Happy Days: A Book of Toasts