For these verses laughter is the point. It is not social commentary. It is not a moral lesson. It is simply an example of the joy of word-play. |
The Rhyme of the
Chivalrous Shark
by Wallace Irwin
Most chivalrous fish of the ocean,
To ladies forbearing and mild,
Though his record be dark, is the man-eating
Shark
Who will eat neither woman nor child.
He dines upon seamen and skippers,
And tourists his hunger assuage,
And a fresh cabin boy will inspire him with joy
If he’s past the maturity age.
A doctor, a lawyer, a preacher,
He’ll gobble one any fine day,
But the ladies, God bless ‘em, he’ll only address
‘em
Politely and go on his way.
I can readily cite you an instance
Where a lovely young lady of Breem,
Who was tender and sweet and delicious to eat,
Fell into the bay with a scream.
She struggled and flounced in the water
And signaled in vain for her bark
And she’d surely been drowned if she hadn’t been
Found
By a chivalrous man-eating shark.
He bowed in a manner most polished,
Thus soothing her impulses wild;
“Don’t be frightened,” he said, “I’ve been properly
Bred
And will eat neither woman nor child.”
Then he proffered his fin and she took it---
Such a gallantry none can dispute---
While the passengers cheered as the vessel they
Neared,
And a broadside was fired in salute.
And they soon stood alongside the vessel,
When a life-saving dinghy was lowered
With the pick of the crew, and her relatives, too,
And the mate and the skipper aboard.
So they took her aboard in a jiffy,
And the shark stood attention the while,
Then he raised on his flipper and ate up the
Skipper
And went on his way with a smile.
And this shows that the prince of the ocean,
To ladies forbearing and mild,
Though his record be dark, is the man-eating
Shark
Who will eat neither woman nor child.
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